Aging

Into the warmth of day
Beams cradle in their arms
My heart with each ray
Cushioning thoughts, protecting from harms
Settle into lace and velvet
Dress divine with rich delight
Opening life’s heartless love set
Engagingly hooked on happiness’ height.
Into the cover of evening
Drenched in wise protective trial
Entrenched in objective reasoning
With the undercurrent of innocence’s smile
Molded into silver and beads
Act naïve with surprises call
Closing off the beatings true needs
Ravishingly gripped by youths stall.
Into the breath of the wind
Knowing grace defends with much care
Hidden meanings in the rolling sigh
Brushing away reality’s stare
Throwing back attacks of misery on I.
Engulfed in pureness’ sightless romance
Shielded from the turmoils in trusting beauty
Blinded to life’s real erratic dance
Childhood has mothered the true world from me
But now I open my cynical eyes.

Exist For A While

Flood into me
And relieve the imbalance
Extend to me your pureness
And allow me a minimal smile.
An instant to collect a meaning
A moment to simply exist for a while.
Open all the locked barricades
And eject what burns and eats
Let emotions jump at mock parades
Imitating others who possess exotic treats.
Mimicking my pragmatic plight
Elate what’s left at the edge of doom
Images of suffering radiated by light
Perceive emptiness as just excessive room.
Surround me with blankets of steam
Stop the trials of my heart anticipating pain
Aspiring no more to the slaughtered dream
Erasing the eternally indented name.
Let me escape for a tempestuous term
Without a sanctioned life of sanity
Intertwine with the present the happiness I yearn
And the acceptance and love indebted to me.
Chime without reliable reason
Affront my memory and wash it clean
Invite festivities into my every season
Allow me a moment to twinkle and gleam.
Allow me a moment to smile.
Grant me an instant to collect a meaning
Let me simply exist for a while.

Heart That You Hide

Rectify honourably
The heart you broke
Trespass on kindness
A foreign spirit invoke
And the tragic example
Of running short of time
Display awkwardly
On the hand that is mine.
For facial expressions
Are meek and unclear
Misleading in what they portray
False sentiments they endear.
But right now I see through it
Into the complicated mess of your mind
I can see all the damage you see now
All the hurt to which you were conveniently blind.
Redeem yourself
From the insult you threw
Transform into humanity
A foreign morality renew
And the terrible story
Of being trapped inside
Display cunningly
On the heart that you hide.
For spoken words
Are weak and unfair
Indecisive in what they convey
False friendships they share
But right now I look past it
Into the muddled contents of your head
I can see all the problems you see now
All the truths, which you lied about instead.
Relive triumphantly
The alliance you broke
Define what you want to
A foreign promise throatily croak
And the tormenting tale
Of all that you’ve ever feared
Display gingerly
On your wounds so impaired.
For all your love and concern
Is left to reside
Dormant and invisible
On that heart that you hide.

Hollow

Valleys empty and run away
Fleeing to the hills that surround them.
The hole grows bigger, more hollow
And darkness engulfs it sadly
As they flee.

Rivers are deserted and slip away
Flowing to the big comforting ocean.
The gap becomes larger, more hollow
And dry lands spread through their pathetic
Previous home.

The sky is distant and lifts away
Flying into the discerning vacuum of space.
The world grows larger, more hollow
And despair is felt by the animals and machines
That filled the air.

Empty tears swell with the intake of starving breath
Drawing a sad line as they travel down.
The eye becomes unburdened, more hollow
And delicate tears fall to an empty world
And die so empty and hollow.

I feel so hollow

I’m devoid of my feelings
Like the earth from its beings
I’m hollow.

Enter The Realm

Enter the realm
Of the pouring dive
And stray to the corner
As instruments play live
Escape in the smoke
The haze that protects the lies
And disappear beneath the shadows
As oceans protrude skies
Leap for the answer
Only to catch it in vain
To find that the truth
Existed in their name
That the openness of hearts
Was all that it would take
To lighten the burden
To redeem the mistake
Now just blow from the ashes
And let go of the fear
Refuse to go quietly
Drip out every tear
Leave nothing to the higher power
For they don’t always succeed
They humour loose definitions
And work only for their greed
Enter the realm
But do not expect to return
Intact with your morals and spirit
You’ll be crestfallen and forever burn.

In The Strangest Way

In the strangest way, I feel at peace
Amongst the thorns and thistles sharp,
I’m finding an almost accepting feeling
In the absence of the sound made by the angelic harp.
In the strangest way, I feel at home
Amongst the holes and oceans deep,
I’m finding an almost embracing feeling
In the absence of the energy made by the heavenly sleep.
In the strangest way, I feel at ease
Amongst the alleys and dark streets cluttered,
I’m finding an almost enlightening feeling
In the absence of the commotion made by the sentiments uttered.
In the strangest way, I feel in my place
Amongst the dirt and grime infected,
I’m finding an almost delightful feeling
In the presence of the betrayal felt by being rejected.

Inside Of You

Feeling for you something new
A deeper feeling, going deeper.
Gazing into your eyes
Closing mine to savour
Keep your eyes closed!
Pull my body into you
Pulling closer
Needing you closer
To feel this temple I desire
This object I adore, admire
Exploring each inch with fingers rough
Desperate for you
Going harder, pushing harder
As desire and need for your beauty grows
My want for my darling is faster
Going faster
No need for kisses now
Past their purpose
To deep in loving now
For obvious tasks.
You can see how I need you
Keep your eyes closed
Turn your head away
So I can nuzzle into your neck
And push deeper and harder
I’m loving it harder
So desperate for it now
It’s a moving power
Too lost in motion
Arms enfolding making it longer
The lie growing longer
But its over, I’ve released
Couldn’t hold in all I feel for you
Catching our breath
Hearts beating together from it
Excitement morphed into sleep
Kissing your forehead, so sweet
Yes how I loved that!
Our bodies intertwined
I whisper “I love you” and mean it
So true!
I love it, I love you, when I’m inside of you
When I’m fucking you!
We both believe it’s meaningful
Our bond now is so beautiful
When I’m fucking you!
Roll over and sleep now
Content and complete
Hold you for a moment
Until lost to the world
Lost in you and what
We believe I feel
When inside of you.

Winter

Misery hangs over
And resonates within
Feeding on scars
Creating deeper wounds, deeper sin
And the blood readily flows
Active for it already knows
It saw deep within its mind
All the mutuality
Was just far too kind
Love soaked, in denial
Admittedly blind
Now the shattering chill
Which Winter remakes
Evicts its desires as
Seasonal mistakes

No One No More

To think of how to see
How to try to perform
To not regard the image
And forget the picture
Relentlessly on loop.
Time warps the intention
Phasing the truth
Robbing my attention
My ability to just be here
To be seen as passion
To devour my air
To irrationalise my flight
Behave as a creature
And embrace cover in night
Hide me in a mask
Shade the laws of beauty
Apply colours to sever flaws
Fool the world
Make me magnetic
Give me aromas to allure
I will turn my back on limits
And be no one, no more.

Favourite

My favourite place in the world,
a home where I felt safe
wrapped up in comfort
filled up only with love.
Here in this place we would lie;
do nothing at all but just lie
resting on dreams so padded
no end to the pillows and blankets
we were for each other
we were all that was needed
to enjoy such peaceful slumber.
Here we would be
under hearts’ instruction
and move to its beat and desire
every angle felt natural and right
no matter what the moment
no matter what the critical need
our bodies would mold into one another
and find a way to satisfy and reassure
each position deliberate and automatic
responding to unvoiced requests
of the hearts and minds of each other.
Here in my favourite place in the world
I experienced every worldly pleasure
each touch filled with such divine love
reactions of pure happiness, so sweetly savoured.
So many dear emotions resting in this haunt
beckoning back the two lovers that made them come alive
that woke all the senses
rolled and twisted
fused pleasures and embraces
kisses and caresses
longing stares
erotic fantasies.
All the laughter, teasing
and deep conversations shared
lie now undetected
suffocated under sheets
put aside, abandoned as if dead
all the love and care and intimacy
all the promises we said
now left unromanced.
Shadows are haunting
alone with so much room
and the body suffers restlessly
addicted to its familiar
longing for its home
to feel all the belonging and security
to relive every single moment.
Thoughts cannot help but linger
on the path reality forces me to tread
I will now never again be in my favourite place:
In your arms
Here with you
In this bed.

Reality

Welting into your mist
So separate from mine
Swollen up by wonder
In effortless time
Happen into steel walls
I beat till holes appear
Instantly making memories
I won’t be able to bear.
Windows avoid distinction
With baseless mimed reality
Entrusting wit that’s deeply lacking
The timeless selling honesty
Hiding amongst your heat
Millions away from this
Anchored down by the motion
In the non penetrating kiss
Wander into weighted doorways
I slam till foundations break
Instantly making promises
I won’t be able to take.

Mind's Eye

In the minds eye we slip away
Leaving only traces of dust to imply
And the ground opens to swallow
The emotions that are let go
And the dirt smothers it
Burying it beyond existence
Never to be reborn
Never quite the same
Air washes away the moments
Breeze brushes it aside
New moments develop around us
The little flame dies inside
Roads grow longer as we walk them
When we lift our heads the horizons there
A constant never is a constant
But the meaning is why we share
As they walk away a soul escapes
Out from the limbs of those who stand watching
Bound to a body unable to bear
The trials and needs of those who lay sleeping
Interested in nothing now they’re unable to care
And the heart opens up and starts weeping
But there in the distance I feel that constant
A morphing of all that I thought was true
To a diagonal unearthing of a lie that’s so real
And a denial of expressing the feelings I feel
Rain washes away the moments
River gushes it aside
New moments develop around usBut the dead flames’ smoke makes us blind

Saving The Moment

Saving the moment
As if I desired
To feel life growing
As if my heart were wholesome
Inspired
Not withered and bloodless
Not ending, not tired.

Waiting in anticipation
As if I’m concerned
For the destiny I’m drawn to
As if from my wisdom I’ve seen nothing
Haven’t learned
Not cynical and guilty
Not lost, not yearned.

I read aloud from the page
As if the words are real
And I care for their value
As if my tongue were tender
Something I could feel
Not rapid and sharp
Not mindless, not steel.

Listening with patience
As if it were melodic information
An important guide
As if my thoughts were open
Considering situation
Not critical and untrusting
Not desperate, not fixation .

Allowing there to be tears
As if unashamed
Of the weakness shown
As if my eyes were a river
That cannot be blamed
Not dry and barren
Not shadowed, not inflamed.

Entertaining imagination
As if a clairvoyant muse
Whispered sweet words to me
As if I was shown
What I should choose
Not stalling and misguided
Not tainted, not used

Not paralyzed by fear
Composed now as if
Innocence were present
As if I were someone else
Standing here.

Madly In Love With You

Looking into your eyes
Behind mine closed so tight now
Trying to remember
The glaze I took to be love.
I’ll never look again at those eyes
And understand its moods
Nothing about them
Was ever true.
I reach my hand out to nothing
And trace the frame of your face
The jaw set to give such affectionate kisses
Those lips so soft and possessive.
I will never again feel that face
And know what it is wanting
All that I thought I could read in its shape
Meant nothing.
Preparing my ears to accept your whispered moans
A voice so deeply coated in a needy love
I will never again hear that voice
And comprehend what it’s saying
The words and tones I thought I could read
No longer exist.
How can it all be such a lie?
How can precious moments be suddenly gone?
I’m forced to let go of something so dear
Not because the moment’s over
It was just never there.
Blinded by touches that made me feel
Created a response in me
That I thought was so real
But denial is so strong
And persuasive over the heart
Lying to myself for something I wanted
Something I desired
And emotion I craved so much
Lost now in the memory of that touch.
I will never be able to forget
And I will forever be ashamed
Of what my touch conveyed to you,
Despite all your lies-everything about me was true.
I was madly in love with you.

It Just Lacked

I’m somewhat confused
By our recent conversation,
It seemed to lack it’s usual
Depth and friendliness
It just lacked conversation.
Why can’t we talk any more?
What is the barrier in our way?
We used to be able to talk for hours on end
Now we have nothing much to say.

I’m somewhat confused
By your recent expression of passion,
It seemed to lack it’s usual
Tenderness and excitement
It just lacked passion.
Why do you no longer ache for me?
What changed so that you do not miss me?
You used to barely be able to keep your hands to yourself
Now you barely even kiss me.

I’m somewhat confused
By our recent hug,
It seemed to lack it’s usual
Warmth and security
It just lacked the hug.
Why do we no longer reach to hold each other?
What happened to my real life teddy bear?
We used to hug each other every chance we could
But now hugs are pretty rare.

I’m somewhat confused
By your recent expression of love,
It seemed to lack it’s usual
Pureness and sincerity
It just lacked love.

Beauty - 2001

Do you see what I see
When looking at me?
I see a beauty inside
But the beauty that I’m speaking of
Is the non-surface kind.

Do you see what I see
When looking around?
I see the worlds beautiful people
Wearing the worlds beautiful crowns
But I cannot see the beauty
In the picture perfect movie screen
I cannot see the beauty
In the Beauty Pagent’s Beauty Queen
Maybe it’s too unreal
Maybe it’s too ideal
Maybe I just don’t see what’s the big deal.

Do you see what I see
When looking at her?
I see beauty…
Though the beauty I’m speaking of
Is not the one you’d prefer
There is so much beauty in her.

Do you see what I see
When looking around?
I see all the worlds beautiful people
Looking un-beautifully down
But I cannot see the beauty
In a model’s perfect figure
And I cannot see the beauty
In a heart that doesn’t deliver
Maybe it’s too unreal
Maybe it’s too ideal
But living like that to me
Does not appeal.

Maybe you’re too unreal
Maybe you’re too ideal
Maybe you just don’t know how to feel
Because hard as I try I cannot see
Any beauty in you.


But don’t get upset
Or going trying to hide
Because the beauty that I’m speaking of
Is the non-surface kind.